Our Little Tax Write-Off

I have hit the 12 week mark, an I am celebrating in Santa Barbara with David. We are relaxing and walking around a LOT. This is the most exercise I have been able to muster in a while, but I am glad for it. I feel pretty good except when I suddenly start to get hungry and must have food right away.

I finally feel a little growth that isn’t just an ice cream belly. I also am feeling some teeny vibrations once in a while coming from my lower abdomen. It is probably way to soon to think it is baby, but it is better to think that than the latest snack being digested. We shall see.

Our appointment is on Tuesday, Oct 30, so please keep praying for us!

I have come to the 11th week. Baby should be changing from a lime to a plum size. One more week until our next appointment and I am trying not to be nervous. For the most part I think things are going well. I still have some nausea, mostly when my stomach is empty. Mornings can be tough, especially as I am trying to get off to work. I do the best I can, though.

I have a good amount of energy, it seems. I try to get a few walks in during the day. They are short, but the hills I face make it a good workout 🙂

David thinks I am showing, but I am not convinced it isn’t an ice cream bump. I am getting round, but at least my work pants still fit. I am trying to wear looser clothes so my stomach isn’t so noticeable, but I still see it.

I am looking forward to sharing good news in a few weeks. I am just trying to stay positive and picture what life will be like in a few months.

Every time I feel a wave of nausea, I feel grateful. Well, it is still no fun feeling sick, but I remind myself that this means my little baby is still growing and my body is doing what it needs to do. I am having a few challenges with worries, but am trying to stay positive for my baby.

David continues to be so helpful, especially when I need him to go get food for me and filling the dishwasher for me when looking at dirty dishes makes me feel sick. He always makes sure I am okay and asks how I am feeling, which makes a huge difference.

On October 30 we get our next ultrasound for what they call an NT test. It is a scan to look for markers of some genetic disorders and Down’s syndrome. I really just want to see how this baby has changed, as it will look so much different by then. It can’t come soon enough!

Here are the photos from Valerie’s first ultrasound. The two plus signs are them measuring the baby from head to rump. He or she is at 8 weeks and 3 days according to the measurement and the due date is currently May 12, 2013.

Our first appointment was yesterday, and despite many nerves my part it went very well! The nurse practitioner I saw was very nice and thorough. She took her time in answering my questions and listening to my concerns. When it came time for the ultrasound, she made sure to show me the little flicker of our baby’s heartbeat first thing. It was very inspiring for me to see that. The baby also measured spot on at 8 weeks and 3 days.

I have to make an appointment for another scan at 12 weeks, so I can’t wait to see how that goes. I am sure I will continue to be nervous at every stage, but for now I am trying to enjoy every moment. Luckily I haven’t been too sick 🙂

I have reached the 7 week mark! This pregnancy, every day seems like a miracle. I am so grateful for the chance to experience this again. So far, things have been relatively calm and easy. I haven’t been very nauseous, and aside from a bad cold I have been fighting all week, I am happy and healthy. My first appointment is on October 3rd, and I am anxiously awaiting the ultrasound. It is very difficult not knowing what is going on inside me, but I have to trust that all is well.

It has been 5 months since we have been without our baby. March and April were difficult, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about my Angel. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. My emotions were so low, but I slowly worked back to be myself. I missed being pregnant, even though it was tough many times.

This time around, I am more scared than excited. What can I do differently? I prayed for a healthy baby, but I needed to pray for strength for myself. I guess I had to experience that low in order to appreciate the struggle.

I wish I had another picture of our Angel Baby. I have one ultrasound from our 9 week appt. The image is fuzzy and a little hard to make out, but I know where her heart is. Funny how I thought it was a boy until the day I learned the baby had passed away. That night before I dreamed of a beautiful baby girl. Since then I thought she was a girl.

Now that I am pregnant again I want to treasure each precious moment, because I do know how sacred the time I have with my child is. I never got to feel my first baby move. I want that feeling, and to see his or her smiling or crying face. I want the baby clothes hanging in our closet to be put to good use soon.

Through all the heartache we have experienced, David and I are more solid than ever. We are grateful for our friends and family who were so supportive through our loss, and who will continue to be supportive this time around. We are determined to never forget our Angel, and to stay strong.