Our Little Tax Write-Off

This is Valerie at 22 weeks along. Our new addition is expected in early January and everything is going well. There is still a long way to go, but we know time will pass by fast. We have a lot to do like getting the baby’s room set up, put Jacob in a big boy bed, move his crib into baby’s room, continue teaching Jacob about being a big brother, and much more.

I asked Valerie how she is feeling right now. She said, “The answer is always ‘hungry.'”

We wish Jacob fully understood what was happening so he could feel like he was more involved. He probably just thinks mommy is eating a lot.

We can’t wait to meet Jacob’s little brother.

So blessed.

It’s hard to believe that Valerie is already 5 months into the pregnancy of our new little addition. Time has flown by so quickly. The due date may even sneak up on us. The good and bad thing is that Valerie has been craving some pretty awesome food lately. Last night was chili cheese fries. The bad thing is that I’m gaining some weight too. Probably more than Valerie. Haha!

We have been trying to teach Jacob about being a big brother, making sure he feels involved. Today, a baby visited his class at school and his teacher said that he was very good with the baby and that he will make a great big brother.

Here is a video of Jacob looking at his book, “I Am a Big Brother.”

Here are some pictures of Jacob’s little brother at 19 weeks (from Friday), including proof that Jacob will be getting a little brother just after Christmas. They asked if we wanted to know the sex and we said “Yes!” Then with a quick turn, we saw what you see in the second photo (minus the text of course) and just started cracking up. “Well, that was easy.”

What’s funny is that before we saw the second image and were looking at the profile view, Valerie said, “That looks like Jacob.”

Jacob and dad time at the “pawk.”

Over two years later, and with a second son on the way, I am still trying to figure everything out. Jacob is an amazing kid. He really is. I’ve noticed that I have become more emotional since Jacob has come into our lives and I became a dad (Darn you Zillow commercial! I can’t even watch you anymore!). There are so many wonderful gifts that he gives me without even knowing. A laugh, a hug, or even him putting his hands on my cheek to give me a little kiss that just melts my heart.

However, I am not a perfect dad. I’m not even close to being a perfect husband yet! Just ask Val! At least she knew what she was getting into, right? Jacob had no say. I mess up — a lot. No really, I mean A LOT. You take your average dad and double the mess ups and you are maybe getting somewhere close to me. I understand my faults and just continue to try and push myself to be better.

There are days where, after stress, being rushed, or the combination of both, that it just gets to you. Sometimes my patience wears thin. Hopefully Jacob knows that no matter how frustrated I am at times, my love for him never weakens. Hopefully his little brother realizes that as well. Jacob is my best little buddy and soon another little buddy will be joining us, and poor Val, even counting Chalupa (our pet tortoise) will still be outnumbered by boys and all the craziness that comes with us.

I’m not perfect by any means, but I am working on that and won’t stop working on it. Hopefully Jacob and his little brother remember my successes more than my failures.

Because they were previously hidden, here are all those posts about baby #2:

Baby Bean Bonilla

Some already know. Especially those that have seen us lately. For everyone else, friends and family alike, we’d like to take a moment to make a special announcement via the quick little video below.

last night Jacob woke up around midnight and just couldn’t (or wouldn’t) fall back asleep. It was three hours and one snack break later that we finally put him in his crib and said “night night” and left him there. I think he was surprised we did that, but he quietly laid there until he found a comfy spot to fall asleep.

During the long three hours, I was getting so frustrated with him and myself. He kept punching me feet which hurt, and I just wanted to get back to rest. Somewhere in that long night filled with a mommy’s struggle, I got my first real kick from baby bean. It made me stop and just appreciate how quickly time goes on. Maybe I won’t have more nights like this with Jacob, but a new baby brings new opportunities to teach me patience. I just hope that I can continue to be the best mommy that I can be.

“Pawk”

Jacob loves to dance. Jacob loves to make us dance. Jacob loves to dance with us. He loves music. He loves signing. Jacob loves a lot of stuff.

Apparently, he loves dancing so much that he doesn’t even need music. Today, Valerie told me that, after dropping him off at school, Jacob was having fun dancing. The interesting thing was that there was no music playing. Who needs music, right? If you want to dance, just dance! If you gotta dance, just dance! No music? No problem! DANCE!

This is all just another reminder of how happy Jacob is. He has his “2-year old” moments, but for the most part, he is a really good kid and we are so lucky to have him in our lives.

He enjoys playing and fun. Something the rest of us should enjoy more often.

So we got Jacob a new toothbrush. We got him a cute little Elmo one since he kind of likes him. His old one was a blue Colgate toothbrush with little safari animals on it. 

How did he like his new toothbrush when he first saw it? He fell to the bathroom floor screaming and crying. How did he like it the second time he saw it? He fell to the bathroom floor screaming and crying. I’m sure you can guess how the third time went. 

Well, we needed him to brush his teeth. So off I went to the store to try and find a new toothbrush that was exactly like his old one. Luckily I did. When he saw it tonight, he was sooooo excited. 

His mouth is finally clean. 

Our new little bundle is growing growing growing. Valerie is showing and baby is growing. In a matter of weeks, we will find out if Jacob will have a baby brother or a baby sister.

Things seem to be going well. We are trying to teach Jacob about being a big brother. Valerie even bought him a book all about it and he seemed pretty interested in it. Every now and then we will point to Valerie’s tummy and say “baby.” He doesn’t seem to react much.

I guess we’ll just keep working at it.

Jacob is fighting something right now, but mommy and daddy are trying to take good care of him. On the positive side, he got a new book today about being a big brother and we read it together. He seemed to like it. Plus, at one point I felt his little sibling moving around a bit, so maybe new baby bean is encouraging big brother to get better soon.
Luckily the nausea is subsiding mostly, and I am starting to gain a little weight. Since I have been trying to be careful with what I eat to avoid gestational diabetes again, I lost a little weight then maintained it for several weeks. Baby is still growing (as is my belly) so I am not worried about it. Feeling the baby’s movements will help encourage me to keep up a reasonable diet.
Time moves slowly when you are anxious to meet a new baby! In about three weeks we will learn our baby’s gender. Hopefully around then we will start doing belly bump pictures, so I can document this pregnancy as well.

I am finally in the second trimester and starting to feel better. I don’t remember feeling as nauseous with Jacob, so I am grateful that it is starting to go away. However, everything has shifted forward and my stomach looks about 5 months big instead of 3. I guess there is no denying that this baby is growing.

We are in Las Vegas through tomorrow and having a great time. Jacob is getting a lot of swimming in. Luckily it isn’t too hot.

On Monday, we got a better look at our new little addition. He or she is measuring out fine and looking oh so comfy inside of mommy.

We can’t wait to see what you actually look like and see your little face for the first time. Big brother Jacob is waiting for you. I’m sure he will love playing with your baby toes.

Even when Jacob isn’t trying, there are times when he really touches my heart in a very positive way. He doesn’t even know he is doing it either.

Today in church, I heard a sad story which, as a father, touched me emotionally. The story was about the one-child policy in another country. Parents are allowed only one child and therefore, want sons because they will earn better livings and therefore be able to care for them better in the future.

Anyways, the reasoning behind the law wasn’t what hit me hard. The fact that parents will give up (either before or after birth) a child if it is a girl or has a defect is what broke my heart. As a result, there are buildings many stories high that are filled with children and babies who were given up on. Most of them either girls or children with a defect. Rows and rows of cribs are there and those that work in these places will simply place a bottle in each crib and move on. If the baby figures out how to drink from the bottle, it drank. The ones that don’t … well, I don’t even want to think about that.

The part that really struck me hard was that most of these babies never know what it is like to be loved or held. That was so tough to hear. Thankfully, our church is one that goes to these types of places on missions to try to help, which makes me so proud.

Still, I think of our little Jacob and am so thankful that he has both Valerie and myself. I thought, “Wow, I mess up — a lot. I may not be a perfect parent, but I am sure better than that, right?” I tend to focus a lot on the mistakes that I make with Jacob, trying to learn from them and do better, but still feeling bad for them.

Then later, when Valerie picked up Jacob from our church’s ITM (Infant/Toddler Ministry) and brought him back into the worship center, he saw me from the door and ran to me while yelling “daaaaaddyyyyyy” and practically jumped into my arms. He was so happy to see me. Then I got emotional again because it was then that I realized something. No matter how much I think I mess up as a parent, no matter how many mistakes I think that I make, it does not matter to Jacob. His love is unconditional. Mistakes are forgotten and all he knows is that I am daddy and he loves me no matter what. The mistakes won’t stop, but neither will Jacob’s love. And trust me, the fact that this lesson was taught to me in church was not lost on me.

Even at 2 years old, an age when you would think that it would be Jacob learning lessons from me, it is actually him who has a thing or two to teach me.

I am sure every parent is proud of their kid, but the older Jacob gets, the more impressed I am by the little person he is becoming. He continually surprises us with a new word, phrase, or song, or by showing off his kind heart.

This week Jacob fully transitioned to the preschool side of his daycare. So he is in pre-pre-school or something. He is adapting so well, and the teacher gives us a glowing report each day. So far, he has come home singing songs I had no idea he knew, has shown a great love of art, and been so happy to be reunited with friends from his old classes.

Today was an especially touching day for me. Another, older girl was having a hard time saying goodbye to her mommy, and Jacob wasn’t sure what to make of it. I explained to him that the little girl was sad because she missed her mommy, and that maybe she needed a friend. Jacob went right up to her and tried to show her the toys nearby. He even handed her a piece of a puzzle and had the most genuine concerned look on his face. I wanted to cry too, because of his pure heart. While he couldn’t make her feel better, I did see the little girl sneak a peek at him and I just hope he made a small difference. What a sweet moment.

I was also proud today because during a spaghetti dinner (mostly noodles for Jacob) after eating with his hands proved to be slow, he tried out the fork and actually understood me when I said to lean over his bowl to get closer to the food. He got what I meant right away and spaghetti night was never so clean!  He also prayed before his meal with mommy and daddy, asking (as always) for more “Amen”.

This two year old is getting to be such a little man. I can’t believe all the changes in such a short time. He is such a blessing in our lives.

Jacob enjoying a little art at school

This pregnancy is kicking my booty right now. I have constant nausea and am starting to get tired and moody. Luckily we have started to tell our family, in case it shows. I am so grateful to be pregnant again, but am ready for this part to be over and be on to the glowy, big belly part.

Jacob has been acting differently too, but I can’t be sure if it is because he is two or because he senses something is different. I am trying to be extra patient with him, but it is hard when I feel so sick. For now I will just give him extra love and kisses.

In a few more weeks I should start feeling better and we will get another ultrasound to see how everything is progressing. It will be exciting to go through that again, and to see our little bean.

Cool Jacob

I love this picture of Jacob from this morning. He woke up happy and ready to attack the weekend.

Jacob is such a happy kid and is always ready for his next adventure. Since turning two, he is starting to have a bit of a naughty streak, really trying to test the limits at times. Overall though, he is still such a great kid. He has so much energy and is always ready to go go go.

We love hearing him sing (mostly the Itsy Bitsy Spider), have fun with his drums, ask for more ‘dance’ (which is music), and get excited for ‘more Amen’ (heading to church). His hugs, kisses, and ‘love you daddy’ fills my heart with joy.

We are so blessed to have him in our lives.

Baby Bean’s first photo

It has been 4 weeks since Valerie gave me the good news. Yesterday, we got our first look an our new little addition, who I have affectionately nicknamed ‘Baby Bean’ for now. Seeing that little heart flicker was just as magical as it was when we first saw it with Jacob.

Valerie is about 8 weeks along right now and we are taking things one day at a time. She seems to be more nauseous than she was with Jacob. She’ll have some cravings. Nothing crazy. Pepperoni pizza here, chips and salsa there. More than cravings, it seems to be “everything except this one food that I want right now makes me feel sick.” I am just rolling with it. Tonight, she could not think of what she wanted for dinner until pretty late and sent me out to Carson for some carnitas from Diana’s. I had forgotten about some of the food runs from Jacob. It’s all part of the fun.

Jacob is going to make a fantastic big brother. He loves seeing babies so hopefully he loves our new little one. He has such a kind heart and we can only hope that he welcomes being a big brother and having Team Bonilla going from a roster of three to four.

We have not told anyone yet. Not even our families. We wanted to wait until after the first doctor appointment, which was yesterday. As things happen, we are reminded by the familiarity of it all and are feeling blessed beyond belief.

Lord, please watch over our little Baby Bean. Grow grow grow.

Team Bonilla at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park

Everyone says that you should enjoy every moment with your children because the time passes so fast. It’s tough to believe that it was two years ago today that Valerie and I were in the hospital awaiting Jacob’s arrival. We knew our lives would change. What I did not realize was how much.

Fast forward to two years later and I can’t imagine our lives without this little two year old toddler. How did we get along before without his smiles and laughs? How did we just observe common every day things without seeing it through the wonder in his eyes. Things like music, animals, trees, the moon. They are all just so magical to him.

Since today was so very special and we love seeing the world through his eyes, we decided to take him on a little birthday trip.

He woke up in San Diego. We went to breakfast in the Mission Beach area. From there, the Bonilla family headed to the San Diego Zoo Safari Park in Escondido where Jacob had an amazing full day filled with running and seeing all kinds of animals. We even booked a private tour … which he fell asleep halfway through. It was nap time after all. Then, after waking up, it was more running and even more animals. Lions and tigers and bears — oh my! Ok, there were no bears and the lions were off exhibit for some reason. However, there were tigers. Once we returned to our resort, we walked along the beach and then headed back to our room to relax before going downstairs to eat dinner. They even gave him his own little ice cream with a candle in it.

Grandma, grandpa and even auntie Linda called to sing happy birthday to him. Auntie Erica, uncle Eddie and his cousins called to wish him a happy birthday and show him, via FaceTime, the card that they had made for him. It was a long and busy day for our little guy that ended with mommy telling him the story of the day he was born as he fell asleep for the night.

And now Valerie and I have time to reflect on what a wild and fun filled time the past two years have been. We can’t wait to see what the future holds.

A few days ago David and I were looking at old videos from when Jacob was first born. He was so small and helpless. He had no control over his movements or head, and relied on us for everything. As the videos progressed, we saw smiles, laughter, hitting toys with a little fist or kick, first sloppy tastes of baby food, sitting up on his own, babbling, crawling, playing and all the while him getting bigger and bigger. 

I look at the toddler in my life now and can barely remember those early days when it seemed hard, but really was just sleep deprived. At least you could put a baby down and he would stay there. Now, as soon as we set him down it is off to the races! We may get more sleep at night, but we use up all our energy during the day.

It is worth it when I see Jacob doing or saying new things. He is trying to say his name (hence the “Baybub” in the title), and many other things. He is pretty good at feeding himself, and tried to put on his own socks and shoes. He loves ABCs and counting. He always wants singing and music. He can play his little drums along with certain songs. Perhaps most amazing is he is learning to trust that when mommy and daddy drop him at school, or leave him with family, that we will be back for him so he doesn’t cry as much. His teachers keep saying how he is growing up. 

From a tiny baby to this amazing, growing personality… Isn’t life so incredible? I am so grateful for having a wonderful family to come home to every day. In a few months, he will be ready to enter his terrific twos, and I am so ready to see what he will learn next. 



He’s closing in on two years. He is getting there fast. The time is flying by and we are trying to treasure every little moment we can. One of the things that I love is that all he wants to do is be with us. Both of us. He just loves spending time with us. When one of us is not there, he asks for that person. He just seems so happy and content when the three of us are together.

Yesterday was his 22-month birthday. Today, we took him to the Aquarium of the Pacific for the second time and he had so much fun. He had fun seeing all of the sea life, including the sea lions which he was convinced were big dogs that — I suppose — really loved to swim. He also had a blast playing in the water areas and getting wet.

Happy birthday to our little man who, before we know it, won’t be so little anymore.

Jacob’s Kitchen coming soon to the Food Network

I’m not sure who the beginning of the week was harder on. Jacob? Mom? Dad? Earlier this week Jacob fell and broke a tooth. He’s fine now, but getting there was an emotional ordeal for mom and dad. He had to go to the dentist for the first time. Before this, his pediatrician was doubling as his dentist. Let’s just say that Jacob was not a fan of the visit.

Sure he liked all of the toys at the dentist. What he didn’t like was mom holding him down and the dentist sticking things in his mouth to repair the tooth. Luckily it is a baby tooth and will fall out one day, but the dentist still did a fantastic job. If you don’t know what to look for, you would not know anything happened.

But for mom and dad, it was very tough emotionally. Jacob didn’t understand what was going on and all that he wanted was for it to stop.

It’s tough watching your child go through something like that, even if he is back to himself an hour later. All you want if to make your child feel like they are safe. To make sure that they are happy and healthy. Hearing him say “all done” while the procedure was taking place was heartbreaking.

He is fine now and we are happy that the dentist did such a good job. Things like this make you second guess a lot of things and make you want to work even harder to be even better parents. Jacob means the world to us.

Love you mommy and daddy

Jacob has started saying “love you mommy” and “love you daddy” which just melts my heart. Especially the first time I heard it. Then when he couples it with a hug, it is tough to fight off the tears of joy.

He is growing so fast and learning so much. He seems so smart. When we look at videos of him when he was younger — during a time when he couldn’t even sit up yet — it is tough to believe that we have come so far in such a short amount of time.

We haven’t written anything here in a while. It’s been a rough year for us so far. At least one of the three of us have been sick every day since before Christmas. First it was Jacob, then me, then Val, then Jacob, then me, then Val. I am sensing a pattern. We have collectively battled colds, the flu, strep throat, and ear and eye infections. 2015 has not been kind to us.

However, while Team Bonilla is not at 100%, we are getting there. The best way to get better is to get some rest. Of course, that is rarely possible with a rambunctious (but good) toddler in the house who wonders why mommy and daddy can no longer keep up with him.

We are looking forward to being back to our normal selves and plan to start this year fresh once that happens.

Jacob had a great Christmas. He also went to his first football game, the 49ers’ finale in Santa Clara. We are amazed at how fast he is learning. He knows and recognized the alphabet, can say so much now, can count to ten, can get through the letter F on his own, and so much more.

Chalupa, our desert tortoise, has also emerged from her hibernation and no one was more excited than Jacob. He immediately ran outside to feed her flowers. He likes her so much.

One of his favorite things to play with? A bowl. Any bowl really, but preferably one of his brightly colored food bowls. He just loves bowls.

He is growing up so fast and surprises us each day. Once we are all 100% well, we plan to make sure that Jacob returns to spending some quality time in the great outdoors and not be forced to stay inside all of the time.

Even though it has been a rough 2015, Val has been just as amazing as always. She is the strength of this family and both Jacob and I are so very lucky to have her in our lives.

It is no secret that, for me, taking Jacob to school/daycare is extremely tough. In recent months, I can probably count on one hand the number of times that it has gone smoothly — and I would have some fingers left over. Usually the fiasco involves lots of tears, some screaming, some refusing to let go of me, etc. It’s tough on me because I just want him to be happy. It made me question our current setup and if we were doing what was best for our son.

In my heart, I know that the interaction that he has with other kids will greatly benefit him in the future rather than just staying home with mom, dad or other family members. And I know that the tears end within minutes and he has a lot of fun with is friends and teachers. However, seeing those tears when you are about to leave him was gut-wrenching.

Today was different. I remembered an article that Valerie had sent me stating that the worst thing that you can do is try to sneak out. It only makes it worse and makes them want to keep an eye on you more to make sure you don’t do just that. So today, I did what the article said to do.

After putting away his stuff and playing a little with him and his friends (which I normally do), I turned him around to face me and looked him in the eyes. He knew what was going to happen and started to wine a little. I gave him a kiss and lovingly said, “Jacob, I am going to go now, but I will be back for you soon. I love you so much and you are going to have lots of fun today with your friends and your teachers, ok? Now go with your teacher and have fun.” I gave him another kiss on the head and his teacher said “Come on Jacob.” He looked at me, smiled and said “Bye bye da-da.” Then he grabbed his teacher’s hand and walked over with her to the rest of the group.

My heart was filled with joy and it made my day.

Jacob is going through a clingy phase right now. Lately, whenever we drop him off at daycare, he cries and cries and doesn’t want us to leave him. Even when he is eating his dinner, if he walks away, he starts to panic.

I talked to his friend’s mom today after dropping him off and it would appear that he is not alone. His friend is going through the same thing and it is a recent development. They both have fun while they are at daycare, it is just that initial separation that is hard for them.

While that made me feel a little better, it still makes me sad to drop him off knowing that all he wants is to stay with me. However, I must say that, even though it breaks my heart, today’s instance of cling comforted me to some extent.

Jacob would only stop crying when he had his arms wrapped around me, holding on tight, and resting his head on me. There was something comforting about the way he was holding onto me, hugging me with all of his strength and seeing his little face in the nearby mirror as he rested on me.

I love that little guys so much and while I wish he would get used to us dropping him off, I am going to soak in the small positive of the whole experience.

Today is a very special day for our little man. Just 18 months ago — plus 9 months or so — he officially joined our little family. Back then, we could not even fathom the amount of joy he would bring into our lives.

Sure there are late night interruptions, chasing after him as he runs around Kohl’s like he just won a shopping spree, messy dinners when more food hits the floor than his mouth, and the high costs of extra food and snacks for the little guy. It is all still very much worth it. Jacob loves us. He loves spending time and we love spending time with him.

We have our good days and our bad. Valerie is an amazing mommy. She is like a super mom. I have no idea how she does it. Jacob is lucky to have a mother like her and I am lucky to have her as my wife and friend.

What is Jacob up to these days? He is working on more teeth. He loves to dance. He loves to run and have us chase him. He loves looking for our tortoise, Chalupa, in the backyard. I’m not sure how we are going to get him to understand that he will not see her again until February because she is hibernating. He loves picking flowers and then taking them over to her so she can have something yummy. I’m not going to lie, I kind of enjoy watching some Disney Junior cartoons with him. He likes singing to the radio in the car. He loves loves loves the moon. And yes, he still loves toes. They may be his favorite thing in the world.

Jacob is always full of surprises. Every morning, I love seeing his little face. And every night, I love kissing him goodnight.